if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
