Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
