I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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