I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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