Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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