mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
