I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
