if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
