my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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