My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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