Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
