go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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