Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
