Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
