I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
