Jerry, you need to find god
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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