Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
