between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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