I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
