I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
