Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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