ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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