Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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