Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
