grandma shit on top of the toilet
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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