She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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