He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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