have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
