U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I am naked and annoyed.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
