A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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