bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
me + whiskey = a bad person
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
