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That's how twitter works, right?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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