she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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