I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
