C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
