I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize