have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This house was built for laser tag.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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