I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
