There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
