If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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