is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Randomize
