i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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