apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
