I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
