Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
