I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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