just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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