Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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