Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
