No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
