Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
