i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
