All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
