It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
