that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
