one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
