I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
