I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
