I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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